Losing people is hard; accepting that they are gone forever is harder. This weekend was my friends daughter’s birthday, she died only three years ago and he is still grieving for her which is understandable. My friend however is finding it impossible to come to terms with the fact he is never going to see her again, as she was taken so abruptly.
Dying from a disease or from a long term cancer, allows your loved ones to say goodbye, of course it comes with its own problems such as the person being so drained that they tend not to act like themselves.
My friend told me that his daughter died in a car crash but didn’t say anything more than that, so I didn’t pressure him, as it is a conversation people have in their own time. However on Saturday he broke down in tears and told me that he had lied, and that she in fact died in a car, but it was no crash and possibly no accident.
He then pulled out of an envelope a newspaper which had a few short paragraphs explaining that the police and investigators could not determine the cause of death and was an on-going case. I think my friend lied to me because it was his way of dealing with her death. Nobody wants to lose a loved one, especially if it cannot be explained how she was taken away. To this day her family has had no closure, and it looks like they never will. All they know was that she was found in her car opposite her house with the doors locked and the keys missing.
I only hope that my friend has the determination to accept that she is never coming back, of course I am not expecting him to, but for his health and for the memory of his daughter, I hope he can see the blue skies again.
For all those who have lost someone, my thoughts are with you, and I hope too that you can move on with your life, they will forever remain in your heart and lungs.